The Dude That Pulled The Parachute Before JUMPING Out Of The Plane (Wait until you get there to see)

“We’re going to war”, the general asked.

“I rolled my eyes”, I said as I told the story back to HR.

“Continue the story, dad”, HR begged.


There were 5 people in the plane.  We were going to war.  This was a BIG DEAL.  You don’t understand it, but it’s really scary.

The 1st guy, we’ll call him Ethan, heard the commander say that we were going to war.  We were in the plane on the way.  Granted, it was stressful, but we WEREN’T ACTUALLY THERE YET. So, back to the story…. so Ethan heard the commander say that we were going to war.  He looked over at the general who was nodding. Ethan pulled the ripcord on his parachute.  BOOM! The parachute was ejected.  Again, we were still in the plane.  The other 4 people, including me, looked down in embarassment and SIGHED…

Ok, so the 2nd guy, we’ll call him Tim-Bo-Sue.  He was Chinese.  We didn’t know what he was doing there.  He was a nice guy.  When the commander gave notice and general confirmed it, he started shooting his gun in the cabin.  It was full of blanks.  Again, we looked down at embarassment and SIGHED.  Remember that we WEREN’T ACTUALLY THERE YET, AT WAR.

3rd guy was a women.  Captain, general.  She heard, confirmed and RANDOMLY punched a hole in the window of the plane.  I don’t know.  We were just confused.  Heads down in embarassment, we collectively sighed.

4th and 5th guys on the plane were deaf.  They didn’t do anything but when they saw everyone else put their heads down and sigh, they copied and did the same thing.

Me? I wasn’t on the plane.  I was watching through a small hidden camera in the plane.  I TOO looked down and SIGHED.  We did it!

There was no war.

The lights came on in the cabin and the TV host opened the plane.  The plane didn’t actually ever leave the tarmac.

“I hate that story”, she said.

“Yeah”, I told her, “I don’t know why HR keeps asking me to tell it?”

“She wants to know about you”, she said.

The three of us got up from the table at the restaurant and started walking out.


“Oh sorry!”, I told IT, the robot.

Winking at the robot; my biometric identification withdrew bitcorn from my #debito card.

“Do you get the point?”, I asked the class.

“Yeah”, the collective mindset of the classroom responded, “you’re a dick!”


“Eh… more or less.”

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Jamie Smith

It's all about the story, man.

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