Calling your friend for 5 minutes free in Mexico (or how to make a friend in Tijuana for #cheapAF, Yo!) #lifelineAF

Let’s take advantage of this promotion.
Dialed “*264” from a TELCEL service provider cell phone.
Chose option “2” at the initial menu for quick English assistance.
Gave agent my full ten digit number.
Verified information including my name, address, and last credit recharge.
Used one of my three available phone number slots.
Could call back later to fill other slots.
Received a confirmation code.
Would have to wait two hours before calling my friend for 5 minutes free in Mexico.
That was it.

I put down the instruction manual; but does this shit work, I think.

I pick up the phone.

“Hey”, HR calls out, “whose number are you going to add?”

I look at her as I start to scratch my beard; let me think of something clever, I think as I tap my right pointer finger on the keyboard at the internet cafe.

“I’m going to”, I tell HR, “add #youAF, of course, y tu mama tambien, Yo!”

“You’re not adding me?”, HR asks as her big brown eyes go the guilty looking route; seeking attention, I think.

Just then the TV turns on again; got to get this FUCKING SHIT fixed, I think; anyways, I message to HR, the TV did it again! *frowny face* #lolAF

Are you sitting on the remote control again, HR asks via videotelephatic message.

I laugh; I AM SITTING ON THE REMOTE, AGAIN!, I think and HR gets the particlecharge, nearly, instantly.

“So how many fingers am I holding up”, I ask the class as I turn off the telepathicslide projector.

“1”, the class answers, nearly in unison; I’ve been teaching at #unisonAF College, I think, for too long–they’re starting to get my jokes, Yo! #lolAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

But”, I ask the class, “which finger?”

The class looks puzzled; my hand is in a brown paper bag and they can’t see; all they can do is guess; and whatever they guess, I can change the finger so they are always wrong; or always right, I think, but don’t tell them.

“The pointer finger!”, the class yells out together.

“HOW.DID.YOU.KNOW.”, I say dramatically as I pull my hand out of the bag.

“But”, I continue, “you are wrong.  It was this finger.”

I put one finger up in the air.

“So which finger was it”, my wife asks me as she passes the #HAKI to me.

“The index finger”, I tell my wife, “#oviiAF.”

“You did try your thumb?”, my wife asks me, “And, then tell them that the thumb is not a finger.  It’s a #thumbAF? Like you did last week at that other school?”

“Nah”, I tell my wife, “I like to mix it up.  The jokes get #staleAF.  Like relatives visiting, they start to get annoying after the #thirdAF day on the #couchAF.  Know what I mean?”

“No”, my wife tells me as she reaches her hand into the bag of #HAKI, “how many fingers am I holding up?”

I look at her; it’s a #trapAF, I think.

“I think”, I tell my wife as I turn my head away, “that’s not the real question.  What do you want to talk about? It’s about taking the #trashAF out again, right?”

“Yeah”, my wife looks over at me, “why do you keep #forgettingAF?”

I get up from the couch; let me just get this over with, I think.

Jamie Smith

It's all about the story, man.

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